In our society, it’s often hard to focus on ourselves. We are constantly told that we need to care about others and put them first. This is especially true when it comes to our families and friends. But what happens when we don’t have anything left to give? What happens when we start to feel drained and burnt out? In this blog post, I’m going to teach you how to focus on yourself for once. It’s not always easy, but it’s definitely worth it!
People only read an article like this when they’ve got to a certain point in their own life and they feel like they’ve spent too much time focusing on other people, and want to learn how to spend time with themselves for once.
Understandable.
We’ve all been there, helping others without even thinking about our own basic needs.
Or maybe we do think about taking care of ourselves for once, but someone comes along and makes us feel selfish so we retreat back to taking care of others because it’s easier that way…
Keep a Journal
Don’t you dare click off this post yet.
Hear me out…
It’s not a surprise that taking actual note of what’s going on around you is a great way to gain clarity. However, this is just the tiniest tip of the iceberg to your well-being and just flat-out being a happier person in general.
Reasons to keep a journal:
- It’ll help improve your memory because you’re writing things down.
- You’ll be more creative because you’re exploring different ideas.
- You can reflect on your day and see what you did and didn’t like about it. Was it a good day or bad? Why? Answering your own questions will do wonders for your confidence in personal values and self improvement as a whole.
- It’s a great way to clear your head and get rid of any negative energy (negative people typically) you might be harboring
- You’ll be more mindful because you’re taking the time to write about your thoughts and emotions.
- It can act as a stress reliever because, which will result in more happiness and some positive changes throughout your health as well.
- It’s the start of a new hobby, which can serve as the replacement of a not-so-good hobby.
If you don’t think journaling is for you, that’s perfectly okay. Not everyone loves to write. I’m not saying that it is the only way to focus on yourself, but it is a great way to get started, and as goes for me… It’s a 10/10 would recommend.
Journaling is where everything changed for me, it was a key part of my general happiness and it’s hands down the best decision I ever made.
Make Your Emotional Well Being a Top Priority
Here’s some truth that never gets talked about…
People mostly don’t care about YOUR well-being and tend to ask other, nicer people (like yourself), for favors in hopes to accomplish their own goals and live life the way they want.
How to make your emotional well being a top priority to focus on:
- Set boundaries with others and stick to them. If they continue to cross these without any regard for your feelings, it might be time to distance yourself from that person or cut communication off altogether.
- Spend some time by yourself every day, even if it’s just 15 minutes. During this time you can do whatever you want: read, write, take a bath, doesn’t matter. Make sure this happens though, it’s important to establish self-worth.
- Speak out loud what it is you’re grateful/thankful for.
- Talk about your day, and express any emotions you might be feeling at the moment (fear, anger, love, sadness) in the mirror, alongside your own thoughts. Simply speaking this out to yourself may just be the right balance for your situation that you’ve been looking for all along.
- Invest in yourself. This could mean taking a class on something you’re interested in, reading books about subjects that interest you, or even just spending more time outside.
- Volunteer your time to a cause that’s important to you. This is a great way to connect with others who share the same values as you and help make a difference in the world.
Mcleancare.org has a great article on this subject and goes in-depth, I highly suggest you check it out here.
It’s not easy to focus on ourselves when we’ve been conditioned to put others first our entire lives, but it’s definitely worth it. And remember, you’re not alone in this. There are plenty of people out there who want to see you succeed and be happy, like me for example.
Wake Up Earlier
This is the last thing you want to hear, I know. But trust me, waking up earlier gives you time to focus on yourself and do things that make YOU happy.
This is important because it gives you time to work on your personal goals, read, write in your journal, take a walk outside, or even just relax in silence.
The bottom line is that if you don’t take some time for yourself every day (even if it is only 15 minutes), you’ll eventually crash and burn. And that’s not good.
Give it a try. Wake up a little bit earlier each day and see how it makes you feel, decide for yourself. Chances are, you’ll be a lot more productive during the day and have
Practice Self-Love and Improve Your Mental Health
Self-love is one of the most important things we can do for ourselves, yet it’s something that’s often overlooked.
When we don’t practice self-love, we’re more likely to put our own needs and wants last and this can lead to a lot of negative emotions like guilt, shame, and anxiety. Not only that… It can amplify these negative aspects and emotions and make you feel them x10.
When we start focusing on the practice of self-love, these negative emotions start to dissipate and are replaced with feelings of happiness, contentment, and peace. This isn’t just an opinion, this is genuinely what happens proven time and time again.
So how do you practice self-love?
Here are some ways to get started:
- Remind yourself of something that you love about yourself every day. This could be anything from your personality to your sense of humor.
- Take yourself on dates. Go out to eat, see a movie, or take a walk in the park. The key is to do things that make you happy and relaxes you. If your idea of taking yourself out on a date is sitting at home playing games…as long as it makes you feel good, ain’t nothing wrong with that. That’s a self-care practice in itself.
- Spend time with friends and family who love and support you. These people are great for building self-confidence and will help remind you why you’re amazing!
- Volunteer your time to a cause that’s important to you or join clubs. This is a great way to connect with others who share the same values as you and help make a difference in the world. Also, spending time with these kinds of people tend to put you in a much more uplifted mood for extended periods of time.
The bottom line is that we all need to practice self-love in order to be happy and healthy individuals. Again, don’t take my word for it. Discover these things for yourself!
Focus on Being a Positive Person
It’s not easy to be positive all the time and find fulfillment in just being a pma kind of person, especially when things are going bad. But it’s important to try your best and focus on the good things in life because they far outweigh the bad. Let me explain.
When you’re a positive person, you attract other positive people into your life and this creates a support system that you can rely on. You also tend to be happier and more content with your life, which is obviously a great thing.
So how can you become a more positive person?
Here are a few tips:
- Start by focusing on the good things in your life, even when things are tough. This will help you stay positive during difficult times.
- Surround yourself with positive people who love and support you. These people are great for building self-confidence and will help remind you why you’re amazing. It may be hard to believe such people exist with your current circle of individuals, but understand that there are people just like you all over. Just find a new group.
- Take some time to focus on your passions and hobbies, even if it means taking a break from work or school for a while. This could be finding joy in simple things like reading a book or watching TV.
- Focus on being kind to those around you because kindness begets kindness! When we’re kind, others are more likely to be kind back and this creates a more positive world.
The bottom line is that being a positive person has a lot of benefits. If you make being a positive person the main point of focus in your own life, the good that will come to you is endless.
Look Back at Your Own Life and Reflect
It’s important to take a step back and look at your own life. When we do this, we’re able to see the things that have made us who we are today. And more often than not, we’re surprised by what we find. Keeping a daily journal is a great way to keep track.
For example, when I look back at my life, I’m amazed by all of the incredible experiences and people I’ve encountered. These experiences have shaped me into the person I am and for that, I’m grateful.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
- What has been the most challenging experience in my life so far? Could be battling mental health issues, could be escaping an abusive relationship could be a career change, etc.
- What has been the best thing that’s ever happened to me? Did you finally get that nice house? Maybe you worked on building healthy relationships with a family member? Did you meditate and drop your stress levels down significantly and nearly eliminate negative thoughts?
- What are my strengths and weaknesses? Good communicator? Top-notch problem solver that will figure things out no matter what? Are you extremely shy? Do you have self-esteem issues?
- Who has been the most influential person in my life? This does NOT mean who you are most inspired by. Who influences your life/has influenced your life the most?
- What are my core values? Can you think of something you believe in no matter what happens? List some things that you will never back down from even in the face of death. A bit dramatic but it’s important to take an approach like this.
- How do I want to be remembered when I’m gone? What would your loved ones say at your funeral? What would your loved ones say about your focus and dedication to your craft? Would you be described as totally normal or would they say things like “extraordinary person who lived beautifully” or “His dedication to helping those in need inspired millions”
Looking back at your own life can be a really powerful experience. It can help you see the things that have made you who you are and remind you of all the amazing things you’ve accomplished, or, all of the things you weren’t able to accomplish and how you can start working towards those things.
If you want more tips, LifeHack has a lot of good info you can check out here.
Closing
Learning how to focus on yourself is a whole lot easier said than done, and that will be apparent. I use to struggle (and still do) with this on a regular basis, especially in my teenage years.
But the beautiful thing is… Just like everything else in life, the more you practice the more second nature it gets. Think of it as a new hobby.
You need to focus on yourself, for you. There will come a time when you’re confused and have negative self-talk as to why you do so much for people and it never seems to get reciprocated.
Remember that feeling and inner voice, and choose to do something about it. Your better life depends on it.
Keep being you and always remember to do what’s right for your own life, then you can focus on others.
Your friend,
Mason